are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You can't special order awesome
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
