Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
