my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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