Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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