i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
