please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
