Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
