lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
