There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
