WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Girls should come with a carfax report
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
