Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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