you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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