He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
