no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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