Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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