It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
