I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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