I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
