You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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