so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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