I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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