ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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