You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
