i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
