I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
