Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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