So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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