My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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