I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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