"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
