Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
