i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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