Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
