Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
