I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
