how can u be prego again
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
