he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
