i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
