I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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