Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
