I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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