wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
