it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
