Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
