If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorry my hands just texted you
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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