I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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