no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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