I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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