I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
