Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
