I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
