you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
