so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
