come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
